Fail Often
Seek not to follow in the footsteps of men/women of old, seek what they sought.”
Matsuo Basho
Often when we are facing into something where we feel like the key elements were always out of our control we will exist in a state of denial, we don’t always deny the issue itself e.g. I am overweight; but we refuse to admit that the blame lies with or within ourselves, e.g. I am the reason I am overweight. Doing so would be adding to what we already perceive to be a failure of self.
This mentality can be damning for your development if not unchecked, resulting in some people being cursed to be forever starting that new diet, exercise regime, healthy habit etc. ‘next Monday’, locked in this pattern until a new mind-set and approach is found.
It’s easy to state and many people do, that you ‘hate the gym’ or ‘hate running’ or cannot find the time to exercise in your busy schedule, but it’s much harder to state ‘I’m too afraid to go to the gym’, ‘I don’t want anyone to see me out running’ or ‘I’m reluctant to put myself in an uncomfortable position by changing my long-existing habits’.
A mentality / approach like this is an anchor that will keep you moored in the same position until you can cut the chain and cast-off. It’s worth mentioning that I also fell into this category. At the core level there was a denial on my part to accept my own failings. Denial of the truth is in my experience one of the best ways to delay your torment and that goes for most things not just health and fitness.
I make no apologies when I say this and I said it to myself many times, the fact that you are overweight or unfit or unhealthy is because you failed to control those elements of your life. The ultimate blame, the ultimate fault lies with you.
Accept this, no more excuses, no more crutches and get on with fixing it. Accepting where you are today is the first big step in defining where you will be tomorrow. By accepting things as they are you can take your energy away from the baggage and mental toil of constantly denying both where you are e.g. unhealthy or unhappy and making up excuses you know are rubbish.
If you cannot change your attitude towards health and fitness you will fall into the same patterns you have before and likely fail, no matter what plan you choose to follow. Don’t be disheartened; knowing this will be a great enabler for you to succeed where you have failed previously.
By learning that both obstacles and failure are necessary for you to continue to grow and develop in all aspects of your life. Failure is not the end, it’s not even negative. Failure is a lesson that will allow you to find the answers you need. At the start of your health and fitness journey expect to fail and fail again as you build a path to success.
Far too often we perceive our inability to do something at the outset as a failure and insurmountable. We then use this failure to mentally beat ourselves up, removing our willpower, remove our drive, and crippling our self-confidence. It’s a vicious circle as you might try and try again over and over only to beat yourself down into the ground when you make a mistake or miss a self-imposed target.
Remember to be kind to yourself. Nobody is a master of something at the outset, there is a learning curve to health and fitness just like anything else, the seemingly ever present need in this culture for instant gratification and near instantaneous results is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle and a strong body. Play the long game, start small, do things often and be consistent.
It is fully within your ability to do the thing you think that you cannot do. Think on this, taking twelve months to slowly and methodically analyze, amend, test and repeat your dietary and exercise habits is going to be infinitely more effective than jumping into a high-intensity training plan or fad diet that promises results fast.
Conclusion:
Failure is not fatal; it might sound counterintuitive but expect to fail and fail often in our health and fitness journey, failures are stepping stones that will get you closer to your goal. The problem many people create for themselves is they expect too much too soon and are bitterly disappointed when they come up short. Whether it is results as regards their physical appearance or suddenly being able to revamp a diet; the fact of the matter is that if it took you many years to get in the shape you’re in it will often take years to get out of it. That’s not a negative thing it’s just a fact to be accepted as you make the initial steps on your journey.
Remember, chin up, chest out and handle it.
Yours,
Stephen